Learning to Pole Dance

I once tried to teach myself to pole dance. I ordered a pole aerobics kit off of Ebay and anxiously awaited its arrival.
When it comes in, I secretly take it into our bedroom. I follow the directions and install the pole.

I put in the DVD on my laptop, I am ready to go. Oh, keep in mind my German shepherd is on our bed observing.

I begin and follow the instructions. Hey, hey, I am getting this. Let’s go to the more advance lessons. Up, down, spin around, put your left foot in, pull your left foot out; you get the idea... This is going quite well, let's take it up a step. Woo! I take three steps, jump, and grasped the pole, then BLAM! And. I. Mean. BLAM! I hit the wall, the dog barked and white stuff fell from the ceiling. Then, in comes Hunnybun – responding to the ‘Blam’ and the shaking of the house - charges into the bedroom and belly rolls with laughter... Not only did the pole come loose from the ceiling but it left a fantastic streak on the ceiling as it removed the texture work.

This was the beginning and end of my pole dancing experience.